It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
