i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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