But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
