"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
