Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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