he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Randomize