He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
