You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
is wine microwaveable?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
