I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
