Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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