I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
