where am i from again
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
