Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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