we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
