dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
