Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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