it was like his penis was on wheels.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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