never play flip cup with pint glasses
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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