I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
