It's like God shit irony all over that family
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
she smelled like a LAN party
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize