I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Enjoy the penises
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize
