I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
