I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
