I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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