Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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