In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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