He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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