Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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