Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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