Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
More tranny stories later!
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
