i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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