Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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