i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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