Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize