Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
