her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
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