thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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