Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
