I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
