Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
is it fun? or sober?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
