then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
