Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
