Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize