u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
a search helicopter?!
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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