i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
