I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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