ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
