what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
