Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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