Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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