his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
