you're like a bully in the Christmas story
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
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