guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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