you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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