Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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