So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
