look no pants
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
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