I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
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