I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize