the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
