I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
My bed smells like the plague
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
