My first STD was from a foam party
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
